Building Bridges
This image has found its way onto many social media feeds, and is the source of mixed reactions.My wife’s reaction is anger, she tosses her Kindle on the bed in frustration, “I don’t know if I want to cry, or yell, or just stay off of Facebook … it isn’t fair to lump all Christians into a category like that. There are Christians who want to treat all people with love and compassion, they would never tell anyone that God doesn’t love them …”
I imagine she feels similar to a Muslim, when lumped with terrorists or extremists marching in the streets, or told how, “moderate Muslims need to speak out against the radicals.” They are! But since when does reason and moderation sell?
Just because there are Christians who say hateful things, doesn’t mean that all Christians are hateful; just like Islamic extremists do not demonstrate that Muslims are all extremists.
While I was still a believer, I outgrew the dogma of my particular religion. I couldn’t see how God could be small or petty, I felt that we are all looking for the truth, that “we see through a glass, darkly …” I gave up thinking that my beliefs were the ultimate Truth and others were wrong, rather I felt we are all on a spectrum of truth and should seek understanding and common ground. I tried to adopt the sentiment that, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8 NIV) I believe there are many Christians who feel similar. Do some people need to feel uncomfortable? With so many sharing the label yet behaving hatefully yes, but I also think some need to be encouraged.
The backlash against the current Christian based homophobia has made many thoughtful Christians feel very uncomfortable. The label they identify with has taken on a lot of baggage. Baggage that they would rather not carry. I know my wife, and know that she does not deserve to be labeled as homophobic or hateful. At the same time, I cannot deny that hate and homophobia are coming from Christians. If Christians want to not be associated with the hate, they need to distance themselves from it.
While it can feel satisfying to score points against people who are self righteous asses, I don’t think we win as a society by pushing away those who would be our allies in social progress. Why get bogged down, arguing details with people who would rather join us in building a better world? In a conversation about believers and nonbelievers working together, Jerry DeWitt said, “Ultimately it doesn’t matter if Jesus existed or doesn’t exist. Has a perfect record in the Bible, or not. Whether the Bible is legitimate or if Jesus was an alien monkey. It really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the Jesus that Mark follows and wants to emulate, that Jesus to that Mark is a humanist and that is where bridges can be built.” (Viviano, David., Feb. 8, 2014., Common Ground Conversations)
So my position is this, it is not your faith, creed, colour, nationality, religion, gender, or sexual orientation that make me your ally or not. It is your view of humanity, and the direction you want to see society go. If you want to see more love, more that is good, more that is noble, more that is worthy of praise, than we can work together.
thenistartedthinking 
I definitely agree with your conclusion to this post that people on either side (theists, atheists, what have you) shouldn’t be pushing away people who agree with them with harsh generalizations. On the other hand though, I have to admit that my gut reaction to the meme, embarrassing though it is, was “YES!” I didn’t even notice how harsh it is toward Christians, just that it’s completely true that there are conservative Christians who genuinely believe that Jesus hates gay people, and proceed to tell those people that. They’re not the majority, just a vocal minority. I think the meme raises a valid point; it’s just doing it in a way that makes a blanket statement about a large, diverse group of people, which is something one needs to be careful to avoid doing. Great post.
I agree that there are many people who claim the label ‘Christian’ yet betray everything that my wife values as a Christian, and everything that I believed in when I was a Christian. Over the last couple years since I have grown out of my religious beliefs, my wife and I have had to establish new common ground in our beliefs, that has come down to humanism. We both want to work toward a better world, with less suffering and more beauty. That is where I start building bridges, at home. Does it still make her sad that I don’t share her beliefs about God? Yes, but I still get frustrated by some of the religious things about most of my family members. I am trying to learn to value the people and the relationships above being correct and making points.
That’s a difficult balance to find. Best of luck.